Photos D'équipe

Every year, the traditional 'team photo' by each team is shot and released. A chance to showcase new their new riders, team kits and bike, the pictures are bandied around the cycling press as column inches fill with the promises and statements of intent for the season ahead. Some teams manage to look every inch cool, their lean and perma-tanned bodies svelte in a slick new kit design, legs thrown casually over desirable weenie-esque carbon steeds. Below we take a look at some of the best and worst team shots throughout the years and celebrate those who don't quite manage this zenith of sharpness.
Hey! work experience kid! stitch our riders onto a glorious clip art of Kazakhstan please! 
Nothing says 'legitimate comeback' better than what could easily be the cover to a popular mano-e-mano p0rn film Ricco... amirite? 
Katusha clearly scrimping on the location budget here, riders jetted into the windy sands of sunny Skegness apparently... oh and bonus points for sticking the token beanpole mid line-up.
SKY 2010. Very cool. Look how much of a baby Froome looks. (Secret - these were stitched together from individual pics).
"YO! We are such BADASSES and were here to stay baby!".... errr.... you are actually a weapons grade tool and you suck BALL. Throwing up the rock horns and sipping monster energy drink from your Cadillac might have you thinking you are the epitome of cool, but in fact you put the douche in douchesquad. Having said that, I did like their mental kits. And a couple of their riders. Nice attitude, shitty management.
Sitting by the dock of the bay... nice relaxations from Colombia here, although those small frys on the front better watch they don't drop that ride in the ocean....
Aint no-body got time for a guy squatting in grey lycra. Peroid. And where did the guy on the rights leg go??? No wonder Footon/Fuji/Servetto/Geox whatever the hell they morphed into didn't stand the test of time. 
Vacansoleil plumping for the 'naughty class in the school gym' vibe here. Check out Flecha the class clown. Minus points for guy on right for forgetting his bibshorts.
Lotto Honda girls, giving it their best 'badass' pose. Out the back of a lumberyard in Belgium no doubt.
Is it a cycling team or is this a Burton Menswear catalogue image. Answers on a postcard purleeeease!

And below are my personal winners for the 'epic-wtf-what-were-the-press-department-thinking' award.... viewer caution is advised!
And heres a quality last minute addition to the WTF category from BOOM ...
Whose your daddy???


Diego Cagnato said...

i like this picture of team colombia and the "metaphor" for the best climbers:

and the quickstep "pillow tale" continues:

mention for "pirelli calendar model of the year", and "the worst design change for one of the most beautiful jerseys from pro peloton" for Przemyslaw Niemiec of lampre:

Jan said...

Have you noticed the shockingly mismatched socks in the Katusha photo? I can't imagine they don't have a sock-sponsor...

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